Workplace Bullying: A Practical Advice ✓

One of my LIG members asked a very interesting
question. And because this situation is very common at work environment, I thought you
can benefit from it as well. So, here s the message; Deniz, I am in trouble. I joined XXXXX 2 months
ago and I am miserable. The cause of my misery is my manager. He s bullying me in every sense.
Apparently, he wanted his friend to be hired for my role and he s not taking it well that
I was hired instead of his friend. At first I thought, it d be temporary but now even
after 2 months, he s making my life miserable. He is manipulative, he never gives me credit
for my own projects, he doesn t support me at work and hides key information, and worse
he even spreads rumors about me. He is double faced. He can be seen as very charming from
outside but he s a total dictator to me. He plays so many tricks to make me look responsible
for failures. One day I couldn t control my nerves and started crying in the office. Then
I saw that he was laughing at my face and calling others to see me like that. It s a
miserable environment. I am not happy and I am thinking about quitting but I don t want
to be unemployed again. I have financial responsibilities. It s not what I expected from such a prestigious
organization. I even approached HR and they didn t seem to care much at all. Do you think
I should still file a complaint with HR? What can I do? Ok& I have seen this situation 100s of times in
my consulting career. I was never in that situation at PwC. PricewaterhouseCoopers.
But I ve seen it happening in my client organizations many times. So, I do have a very practical
advise for you. Just be patient so I can walk you through my thinking process. But first, let s start with what doesn t work. Going to HR doesn t work. It doesn t work for a few reasons. You see, HR s only obligation is to their
employer. To the company. HR is no judge. There s no such HR code that binds them to
be fair. They are employees themselves. In fact, they have very very limited power. The
best they can do is take your written complaint and pass it on the person who is actually
bullying you. But in your case, your manager is the one who is bullying you so it s not
going to work out very good for you. Ok, so I hope this was clear. Going to HR
will very unlikely work. Very unlikely. Another advice that won t work is confrontation.
Now, the popular advice in this case is that you should confront. And I would agree that confrontation should
ideally be your first course of action in most situations. Confrontation is great. You
iron out miscommunication, you adjust to different styles of working. It s great. But your case is different. IN your case,
you are dealing with a psychopath. You are dealing with a
corporate psychopath. They make up around 1% of the population. So, you just hit the
lottery. These guys, you know they are double faced, he gets pleasure out of seeing you
cry, he spreads false rumors, and he does everything he can to make you fail. I mean I don t care if he has a Golden Retriever
at home. He is a psychopath. So, get that right in your mind. This human
being is a psychopath and most often these kind of people are very good in manipulating, They mastered the art of manipulations and
that s usually the reason why you see them in such high places in the corporate world.
Because they can be very charming and they can manipulate their way into success. So, that s why if you confront him nothing
will happen. This is not about miscommunication. This is about pure evil intentions. He lacks
empathy, he lacks compassion. And it s not your job nor within your power to fix him. OK. Enough of what doesn t work. Let s talk about what will work. Now, first understand that these kind of corporate
psychopaths, the bullies, they prey on the weak, the isolated, and the powerless. Like certain bacteria. They can only continue
to exist if your immune system is down and that you are weak. So, you need to change
that environment. What you need is power. The power in the corporate
world obviously doesn t come from your muscles but it comes from your role, your decision
making authority, and your influence. Now, I am not going to suggest go get more
power. Or get a promotion . In your case, it won t work. Because you are working for
the bully. He is your manager. He makes you look like the fall guy for all the failures
so you are not get promoted. You are not get more authority. He ll just block those opportunities. But what you can do, is you can get close
proximity to power. Let me explain. There are 2 ways to do this. First and the most effective one is that you
start working on projects that involve other departments, other managers, directors, or
VPs. The higher the better. Even if it s a project that takes just 1 hour
of your time in a month, that s still access to power. The point here is that; the bully will see
that you are no longer isolated. Fine, you may not have power but you have access to
power. You are now in an environment with other managers
that you can also spread rumors if you wish to, and cause him damage. And all you need
to do is make that bully aware of that fact. You don t need to rub it on his face or threaten
him. Be very subtle. Just make sure he knows it. You don t even have to say it to him.
Just make sure he finds out. That s it. Now, this was the first way. But it just so happens that sometimes you
have no opportunity to work on a joint project with other departments. In that case, what
you can do is instead of developing professional relationships with other departments, you
can develop personal relationships. This works too. You can socially hang out with those who have
power. Go join them in their lunch break, go hang out with them after working hours. You ll realize that the bully will very quickly
start changing. By the way, this is a proven advice. I recommended
this about 3 times in the past and in all 3 times the results were amazing. The bully
completely stopped after a while. For example last time I recommended this,
it was part of a project on post merger strategy development for a very
large investment bank. They were our clients. And there was a junior employee in our client
who was very feminine and very soft spoken. And the environment was actually quite tough.
It was an Alpha Male dominant environment. So, the guy was bullied ruthlessly. He was
miserable and he mentioned this at a lunch break. So, what I did is, I immediately signed
him to be a member of the joint task force. The task force for this project was chaired
by a Senior Vice President. So, he had immediate access to power – overnight. He became a lot
more visible. He had access to power. And within a week or two, all his problems vanished. So, it works. See, sometimes we unnecessarily complicate
things, don t we? We coin terms; organizational behavior, organizational psychology, enablers,
motivators, triggers, right? But it just so happens that the solutions are incredibly
obvious. For example this situation is no different
than looking for an alliance if you were to get jailed. Right? You go to jail, bad people
are going to pick on you if they feel you are powerless and isolated, they want to beat
you up just for no reason. Your situation is exactly the same one. It maybe a FTSE 100
company, but bad people still exist even in those environments. Rare, really really rare,
but they do exist. They are still going to pick on you if you are powerless and isolated.
Instead of beating you up like in a jail, they ll spread rumors, they ll withhold key
information to make you fail. So, what you do is, if you don t have power,
then you look for alliances with those who have power. I hope it makes sense to you. This topic is done. I hope you found value in it. If you are one of my regular subscribers,
please do me a favor and hit that bell icon below so YouTube can notify you of my future
videos when I release them. Because, I am afraid I am just no longer able to stick to
a regular video upload schedule. It s just been very busy with my LIG program. Cool? I Love you guys. See you later.