Trump’s Skin is Officially Too Thin


BUT INSTAGRAM YESTERDAY, I DON’T KNOW IF YOU NOTICED THIS, LAUNCHED A NEW FEATURE THAT THEY HOPE WILL HELP CRACKDOWN ON BULLYING, SO JUST WHEN YOU’RE ABOUT TO POST A COMMENT THAT COULD BE OFFENSIVE, INSTAGRAM SENSES IT AND SENDS YOU A MESSAGE TO MAKE YOU STOP AND RECONSIDER. FOR REAL. GOES LIKE THIS. LET’S SAY YOU POST SOMETHING LIKE YOU ARE A WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH. YOU GET A LITTLE NOTIFICATION THAT SAYS ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO POST THIS SKM AND ? AND THEN YOU SAY, YEAH, YOU’RE D DAMN RIGHT I WANT TO POST THIS. THAT’S WHY I WROTE IT. THIS MAKES ME WANT TO GO ON INSTAGRAM TO TRY OUT STUFF. BUT THE WORLD’S MOST FAMOUS CYBER BULLY, DONALD TRUMP SUFFERED A BACK STEP. HE HAS TO OPEN HIS ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] IT’S HISTORIC, BECAUSE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME A FEDERAL COURT HAS EVER RULED THAT A PRESIDENT’S SKIN IS LEGALLY TOO THIN. TRUMP, AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW, HAS BLOCKED A LOT OF ACCOUNTS, INCLUDING STEPHEN KING, CHRISSY TEIGEN AND ROSIE O’DONNELL. A SPOKESMAN SAID THEY’RE DISAPPOINTED IN THE DECISION AND EXPLORING POSSIBLE NEXT STEPS. THAT SEEMS LIKE A GOOD USE OF TIME. MAYBE HE CAN GET THE CROWD AT HIS NEXT RALLY TO SHOUT “BLOCK HER UP.” THE AMBASSADOR SENT WHAT WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SECRET GOVERNMENT CABLES TO ENGLAND THAT GOT LEAKED IN WHICH HE DESCRIBED OUR PRESIDENT AS INEPT, INCOMPETENT AND SAYS HIS CAREER COULD END IN D DISGRACE. IT SEEMS THAT THEY COULD WATCH ANY PRESS CONFERENCE, BUT AT 7:48 A.M., TRUMP FIRED BACK, THE WACKY AMBASSADOR THAT THE UK FOISTED UPON THE UNITED STATES IS NOT SOMEONE WE ARE THRILLED WITH, A VERY STUPID GUY. THEN LATER, I DON’T KNOW THE AMBASSADOR BUT HAVE BEEN TOLD HE IS A POMPOUS FOOL. THE BEST THING IS, I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THE AMBASSADOR HAD WRITTEN THIS STUFF ABOUT HIM UNTIL HE TWEETED ABOUT IT. SO THANK YOU FOR THE HEADS UP. AND, AS A RESULT OF THIS, THE WHITE HOUSE UNINVITED THE AMBASSADOR TO A DINNER LAST NIGHT HONORING THE AMIR OF QATAR. BUT LOOK WHO WAS AT THE DINNER, SITTING RIGHT AT DONALD TRUMP’S TABLE IN FACT. THAT’S PATRIOT’S OWNER AND MASSAGE ENTHUSIAST, ROBERT KRAFT, WHO — [ APPLAUSE ] — HE GOT DO GO. HE STILL LOOKS RELAXED. THAT MUST HAVE BEEN SOME RUB DOWN, REALLY. ONE WEEK FROM TOMORROW, SPECIAL COUNSEL ROBERT MUELLER IS SCHEDULED TO TESTIFY IN FRONT OF CONGRESS ABOUT THE PALOOZA. WILLIAM BARR ACCUSED DEMOCRATS OF DOING THIS TO CREATE A PUBLIC SPECTACULAR. TO TO ME, A PUBLIC SPECTACLE IS THE PRESIDENT ORDERING TANKS FOR HIS CELEBRATION. BILL BARR HAS NEVER HANDED A BAG OF CASH TO A PORN STAR, HE’S NOT TRUMP’S PERSONAL LAWYER. HE’S ALSO A BAGPIPER. FOR REAL. HE PLAYS THE BAGPIPES AND PUT ON A LITTLE SHOW AT THE U.S. ATTORNEYS’ ♪ ♪ [ APPLAUSE ]>>Jimmy: SO YOU SEE HE’S ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD WITH THE