The Bully

– Hello nerd, how are you? – Good nerd, what to you like to do nerd? – I like to see newly
released Marvel films with my half brother, Aaron. (beeping) What do you like to do? – I like to masturbate to hentai porn. – Ah. (bang) – [Bully] I can smell your fear. (bang) (thrilling music) – The bully is coming. (banging) – Ah! – Ah! – Hide Broden, hide! – The bully is gonna come in here. – What have we got here? A couple of nerds for me to bully! Yaaa! – Ah! – No! – Ah! (screaming) (screaming) – I love being a bully! (woeful music) But I don’t love me. (woeful music) You know sometimes I wonder, why do I bully this boy? Maybe I’m externalizing the internal pain that I feel every day. You see boys. My, yaaaa! – Ahh! – Ah! (screaming) – Oh no, it’s smacked bottom time! – Oh no! (smacking) – Oh no! (smacking) (smacking) – Ya! (screaming) – I tricked you, I tricked you nerds! (woeful music) But maybe, I’m just tricking myself. Maybe my bullying of this boy is a subconscious effort on my I fucking got ya, yah! – Ah! (screaming) – Oh he’s getting a tickle. – Ah! (smacking) – Circumcision time! – Ah! – Come here! Gimme ya foreskin. (smacking) – Ya, ya, ya, ya! Getting a tickle. – No! – Come here! – Ah! – Come here! Come here, no! No! (smacking) – Stop smacking me! – Tickle, tickle. – Ya! (bang) – Shit! I’ve fallen on me back boys! And everyone knows when a
bully falls on his back. He ain’t getting up. Now, (woeful music) I will shrivel up and die, like a turtle. But I shall go on to bully Valhalla. Zach? – Yes? – You know, how you never met your father? – Yeah. I met him I fucked him. – Oh! – Hee hee hee! Boys, (woeful music) I have but one last thing to say to you. (woeful music) Yaaaaa. Yaaaa, is, do you have your zip, – Yes. – Done up? Yeah! – Try that. – Yaaa! Ah ha ha! (woeful music) – Hm-mm. He’s gonna pull my pants down. – Ya. – Aw no. – Yaaa! (woeful music) – Now I say to ye, good night! (hands dropping) – Mm, so what do ya say
we go play StarCraft on the computer. – You read my mind. (beeping) (comical music) (beeping) (banging) (comical music)