SUICIDE


Suicide.org was once created. Why would we ever need such a website? Because just in 2016, it’s stated, 43,000 Americans by suicide died. 90% of them had a psychiatric disorder. But what about the other 10%? Was their life so out of order? Or was the decision as a temporary solution
to problems meant? Did they consider that suicide is a permanent
resolution? Did they think about the other side of things? Or was their pain intolerable & they needed
a quick solution? The issue is that suicide no relief brings. No relief for sure for the person doing it, Because they’re dead, meaning there’s nothing
to relieve. But, worst of all, those pursuing it Don’t consider people who in them believe. An American dies by suicide every 12.3 minutes. 1.1 Million Americans annually suicide attempt. Has each of them simply reached their limits? Or was it just the famous 1-st world discontent? I’m an American who experiences suicidal thoughts
daily, Wondering why & what’s the purpose of my life. Why am I here & why am I so insanely Contemplating no longer being alive… My life has been such a struggle & a very
painful journey. I am really tired & I have almost no enthusiasm. It’s been like a game, like an aimless tourney, Where all I get is rejection, manipulation,
abuse & sarcasm. I’m so hurt but, most importantly, I’m so
hopeless. I don’t see a reason to be around here at
all. There’s no passion in my life, there’s no
closeness, And every day I struggle to out of bed crawl. No one ever loved me & no one loves me. No one cares if I am alive or dead. If I am no more tomorrow, they won’t even
notice, Everyone will move on with their own life
instead. I think it’s all the issue of mattering & making
a difference, None of which is applicable to me, That’s what’s causing my lack of enthusiasm
& complete indifference, That’s why every day I’m contemplating: to
be or not to be. But then I think about it over & over And decide that maybe the purpose of living
is life itself… And then I give my brain with Biblical affirmations
a makeover, And pull out of this vicious thought cycle
myself. I focus on the fact that God Himself made
me. He created me for whatever reason to be. He didn’t make a mistake, nor did He ever
betray me. He sent Jesus to die so I am set free. Free from depression, anxiety & self-doubt. Free from gossip, rejection & abandonment. So when suicidal thoughts my mind cloud, I focus on God’s eternal commandment… To not fear, to not worry & to not doubt, To lean not on what I can & cannot understand, To trust His direction, even if I don’t find
out The purpose of my one life & how He everything
planned. Suicide is the #10 leading cause of death
in America. What am I going to do about it? While I don’t have any issues medical, I do need to help myself with a spiritual
shift. I love God so much, but do I actually trust
Him? This I’m asking daily, even though He never
failed. There were times I was angry at God & even
cussed Him And I just wished that my purpose & future
He’d unveiled. So, is it actually uncertainty that drives
me to suicide? Am I simply scared of living not knowing what’s
ahead? What if to stick around & see for myself I
decide? Is it not a better solution than being dead? By the way, I’m talking to myself. I know it. Am I crazy? Am I normal? Who decides? This poem is my thought download. I own it. It clarity & understanding of myself provides. I’m scared of my own thoughts often. But so are others, they just don’t talk about
this. Through openness & vulnerability, I know,
my heart will soften, And from the burden of these thoughts Christ
will allow my release.