#METOO BACKLASH | Blame & Bullying in Sexism | TSL Podcast PLUS Steve Mayeda & Nick Sparks do BJJ

stop so a couple of you guys been saying
man these videos have been getting really cool I wanted to do a shameless
plug for my other channel which has the daily awesome podcast
there’s the TSL podcast and that’s for dating sex relationships all that sort
of good stuff on this channel and then there’s the daily awesome channel and
that has everything on men’s development which you’re gonna love so go there now
watch a bunch of other cool videos all we begin what’s up TSL podcast Steve Mayeda here
we’re in San Antonio Texas on a little walk before our Saturday call super
awesome so we have a TSL call every Saturday and is one of the best parts of
the week but I wanted to make this video which it’s has kind of a little bit of a
backstory so yesterday Nick Sparks you know who he is you should he’s an
amazing dating coach relationships coach he’s moving into some cool stuff in his
life but he said he wanted to start training some jiu-jitsu so he went to
10th planet Austin and he showed me this piece that he was working on a little
article about me too and really short but one thing about Nick and one thing
about this whole movement that we’re talking about with me too is we’re not
getting to what’s important about the situation and we’re talking a lot about
oppression objectification and so on and it’s hey it’s not good you know nobody
should feel that way sex socializing your use of your body
your beauty the best parts about yourself the parts which make a
relationship none of those should ever be objectified we get that I’m not
having that argument and perhaps we can on another discussion but the one thing
that Nick was talking about was how we objectifying each other it was almost as
if and this is really how it’s going that in order for women to have a voice
they objectify men they objectify their celebrity they call them out all these
things and you know that does need to happen but what’s the goal that we’re
looking for in all of this what is that that’s the discussion that we’re not
having and that’s the discussion that we talk a lot about at TSL how can men and
women start to have sex and connect because remember this isn’t about power
this isn’t about getting better than one another this isn’t about sex feeling
that finally they’ve won you know they become more of a woman more of a man
just because they’re more powerful than men or women in fact we take away from
the greatest qualities of femininity when they try and mimic meant when women
try and mimic masculinity we take away from the greatest qualities of
masculinity when men because they’re afraid of being sexual want to mimic
femininity and see we need to start rewarding masculinity we need to start
understanding that in order to be a man in order to have it real masculinity be
fulfilled you need to allow the feminine to be feminine in order for a woman to
be fulfilled with her femininity to be appreciated for it
she must allow the masculine to be masculine and we’re not allowing this
and here’s part of the the big catch-22 of this because we’re so afraid of being
sexual because we’re so afraid of not doing something right or not doing
something in a way that’s effective we start jumping to conclusions you know
when we look at the Aziz Ansari thing we look at Louie CK we look at Kevin Spacey
we see examples of men who have not learned how to talk to women we see
examples of men who are trying to well in Kevin Spacey’s case other men that
are trying to use power that are trying to use
celebrity that are trying to use forms of social success in order for us to be
sexual and we don’t see men or women using their selves to be sexual we see
them using a rulebook we see them using social norms we see them using other
people’s sexuality for instance if we’re trying to be sexual we say oh well you
know what did Oprah say or what did Cosmo say or what did the POA industry
say what did the red pill faction of society say what did all these things
say in order for me to be a man or a woman and so few of us are we are able
to show ourselves so few of us have had the discussion of what sexuality is and
how good it is how beautiful it can be and so we jump to these conclusions
where we call women up to our hotel room jerking off answering the door that way
or whatever it is we call people over and we escalate to sex using force using
power using social oppression I mean look at the Harvey Weinstein scenario we
do these things because men and women don’t know how to have sex they don’t
have the outlets of seeing that seduction can be good the more that we
see seduction or sex as a taboo the more we see it as something that if we need
to do it the ways that we want it the ways that we feel it in our body we have
to be some sort of social misfit somebody who does it in a way that has
to break the rules when the rules that we put in place around sex or what
caused it so much pain and so much discomfort
and let’s think about this because part of the argument that you know a lot of
pickup a lot of the modern men’s right stuff talks about is well women women
are whores to women love sex just as much event as men if not more has always
been said but the thing is is that just because that’s there it doesn’t mean
that she’s also a woman that there’s other parts of her that want respect and
so a sexual man you know this is really a podcast for men needs to learn the
latitude of femininity part of you going from boy to man is that you realize that
women they do have this side of them they do have the side of them that is
wanting to have sex wanting to be taken wanting to be used wanting to be fucked
until they stayed fucked and as Henry Miller put it but that doesn’t mean that
all of them feel that way that doesn’t mean that all of their sexuality has
this feeling of a carnal vixen sort of mentality but it also means that every
woman has a little bit of that in her and it needs to be found so this is one
of those things this is one of those things that I think the discussion needs
to be moved towards is how do we have sex how do we hit on people right and
the last thing that we need is a limiting of sexuality and a limiting of
us talking to women women talking to men Alette mean of how a woman can be sexual
because when we try and repress a force of nature is more powerful than us it’s
more powerful than our social structures and we break it and that’s what we’re
seeing here that’s what we’re seeing over and over again the breaking of the
sexual man the breaking of the sexual woman and no longer it being something
about expression in any case Steve Maya signing out
ESL podcast people time to get to this call time to get to what we’re all
talking about and I man making men better and through that making with
society people better that is the sexual life you you