Yesterday, Anderson Cooper
interviewed future divorcée Melania Trump and asked her
what she’d try to accomplish if she becomes first lady. 21st century–
the social media– it’s very damaging
for the children. We need to guide them and
teach them about social media, because I see a lot
of negativity on it, and, uh, we need to help them. -(laughter)
-JOYCE: Hey, do you think we can put Melania next
to the Dracula candelabra? -Is that…?
-100 points for Jesse Joyce. Holy cow. (imitating Dracula): One way
I’m going to combat negativity on social media–
to suck your blood! Uh… -(laughter)
-(hissing) -(Joyce imitates wings flapping)
-I wonder what… -(laughter) -I mean, geez, guys,
I wonder why she thinks there’s a lot of negativity
on social media. What’s that all about?
I don’t know. Maybe ’cause one
of the only people she follows does stuff like
call other people, “unattractive
both inside and out,” or “a low class slob,” or a “dopey clown,” or a “total asshole,” or a “pussy.” Or they look “like (bleep).” Or “disgusting” with, quote,
“nipples protruding.” -(laughter)
-Why would…? I mean, why would Melania wait until she’s First Lady to reduce
negativity on social media when she could just as easily
replace her husband’s phone with an exploding
Samsung Galaxy Note 7? (applause and cheering) So much negativity. Comedians, given
that Melania wants to go after Trump-like cyber bullying,
what do you think some of her other goals
might be? Matthew. Designing grab-proof
women’s underwear. -HARDWICK: All right, points.
-Points. Jesse Joyce. Uh, I don’t know.
Something about gypsies. It’s impossible
to understand her. I don’t have any Count-Chocula-
to-English dictionary. -HARDWICK: All right.
-(laughter) Carmen Lynch. Whatever goals
Michelle Obama has. -(laughter) -HARDWICK: Yeah,
all right. Points. -Points. -Nice.
-(applause and cheering)