Jotaro Crusades into DEATH BATTLE!


Wiz: As a teenager Jotaro Kujo was a fairly infamous troublemaker. Boomstick: But you can just call him Jojo like his friends do. Get it? Jotaro… Kujo? Wiz: How bizarre. Boomstick: While bein’ a high school hoodlum isn’t usually a good idea, it worked out great for him. ‘Cause he toughed up a lot. Wiz: At the age of 17 Jotaro was arrested for brutally pummeling four known gang members who were armed with knives and nunchucks of all things. With apparently his bare fists. But Jotaro had a bigger problem. He didn’t know how he did it. Boomstick: He knew he was tough but not that tough. So he came to the only conclusion that makes sense: He was possessed by an evil spirit. Wiz: Just like my pet rat. Boomstick: Yeah… Wait is that why he’s been scratchin’ pentagrams all over his cage? You’ll find out. But then Jotaro did something absolutely crazy. To prove his theory he swiped a police officer’s gun pointed it straight at his head and fired. Boomstick: And that’s how he died.(didn’t die, just Boomstick trolling) Just kidding! A third arm popped out of his body to stop the bullet, of course Wiz: This strange being attached to Jotaro wasn’t an evil spirit at all. It’s an entity physically generated by Jotaro himself and inherited through his bloodline. Yeah, lots of the Jojo family has ’em, includin’ his granddad Joseph. Wiz: These beings are called Stands, literally because they stand by you. Boomstick: Ugh…(get wrecked) I mean, I guess it’s not wrong… Wiz: It’s so lame. Boomstick: Stands are powered by their user’s lifeforce and turns out Jotaro’s lifeforce is super charged because he’s got one of the strongest stands of all. Star Platinum. (A in all 5 stats , excluding C in range) Wiz: Star Platinum has superhuman strength, speed, precision and vision. He can even phase through body and affect a person’s inner organs. Plus, while Star Platinum can take a solid hit, Most stands can only be damaged by other stands or stand users. Boomstick: So he’s basically invincible unless he’s fighting another stand? Wiz: Exactly. In fact unless you have a Stand of your own you wouldn’t be able to see Star Platinum. Boomstick: Oh great! So he’s invincible AND invisible. Wiz: And when you combine all that with Jotaro’s fighting skills and exceptional cleverness they make a magnificent team. Boomstick: Man… hey, Wiz can you make me a stand? Wiz: That’s not how it works Boomstick. Boomstick: Oh come on you’ve got a demon rat. Wiz: Ratspudin he’s just a test subject and a adorable pet. Boomstick: Right? Fine I’ll just my own pet. C’mere Mr. Snappy. Wiz: Go for it. Come back next week as we cover Jotaro’s opponent: The Fist of the North Star. And see if Boomstick’s turtle is still alive.