How To Detect If Someone Is Lying – Dr. Phil And Susan Constantine

And I said take your ego, dump it in the trash can. You can come into my classroom. And once they do, they’re great at it because they’re smart. They’re good wordsmiths and they do a great job. Let’s talk about this for a second. Back to Betty in Idaho. (laughing) Let’s bust some myths. Okay.
About lie detection. Yes. We’re talking about deception detection because you read all this stuff about people when they lie, they look up to the left and stuff, and we know that’s a load of crap. But there are things that ordinary people with a little bit of thought, and little bit of practice can use to detect when somebody is lying to you. Yes. Give us some of those rules and guidelines. Well first of all there’s no specific gesture that gives way to deception slam dunk like a Shaquille O’Neal moment. There’s no such thing, but rather they happen in clusters. First thing is you have to understand or read their baseline. And you talked about that. Understand read them up and down. See how they normally respond in every day life, and look for deviations from that. So if I’m having a conversation with someone and I’m asking a probative question, and then at that point in time they shift their eyes, lick their lips, and adjust their chair, I know that’s a cluster, because that happens in three different gestures that happen within a certain period of time I call it the three seven rule. So you’re looking for three different gestures and movements from their baseline in that five to second period. In fact, the new book that I’m writing is called No Bull How to Detect Deception In Seven Seconds Or Less. So if you apply those principles you can read them. So looking up like you talked about. Looking up to the right, to the left, looking down, that’s an old myth. In fact 22 out of 23 peer reviewed research articles have debunked that research, and there’s nothing to back it up. What we’re looking for are indicators of deception. For example, Christoper Watts. You saw him shrugging his shoulders often. And when he’s shrugging his shoulders and it’s not with I don’t know. I don’t think so, whatever, and they’re giving a question honey you look great in that dress and then you shrug your shoulder. Okay, we know you weren’t being sincere. So that’s one of them. The other thing we found is people’s eyes will dilate. We know that when people, there’s this arousal. In fact there’s a new technology out now that’s called Eye Detect that they can detect just based on pupil enlargement whether someone is being deceptive. But the main thing is that find out that person lies. Everyone lies differently. So there’s no certain method of lying. But humans haven’t changed since the beginning of mankind. There’s no new way to lie. You’re looking for different movements, different from off their norm when you ask a question that might create anxiety, a stimulus we call it. Does everybody lie?
Yes. How often do people lie in a day? They can lie up to 10 times or more. I mean they say that a person will lie within two times in one hour to their spouse. I mean they’ve got all kinds of statistics that’ll back that up. Right, what are the main reasons people lie when they lie? Many reasons, and let me back up, and when you’re talking about lying there could be different forms of lying: boastful, it could be adding, exaggerating that’s not really what I call a lie, lie. Those are just kind of I call little white lies so to speak. Fluffin’.
Fluffing, exactly. You know hey lie because they want to get out of trouble. They lie because they want to protect somebody else from harm. You might see that often in children that have been abused by a parent. In fact, we saw a horrible video on YouTube about a judge that was beating their child with a whip. I don’t know if you’ve seen that one. And that child a teenager ended up video taping it with a web cam so hopefully somebody would believe them. Right? So we see those kinds of things. They may lie to people around them when they’ve noticed bruises, or things on their body that looked like they had been abused and they deny it. It’s because they’re trying to protect themselves from harm. So they’ll protect themselves from harm. They protect other people from getting into trouble, they use maybe thrill, they like the thrill of it boasting, pride. Take credit for work they didn’t do. Yeah plagiarizing. And escape accountability. Yes, that’s another one. They lie about something they did when they don’t want to get in trouble for it, that’s for sure. So if we’re talking to just the average person they got kids, they’ve got a spouse and looking at these clusters I want to be real clear with people about clusters because if they learn these individual behaviors, and somebody does one of them they go uh you’re lying. It may just be a habit. It’s just the way they express themselves. But if they’re in clusters and there’s a pattern of clusters in particular, now you’ve got a problem. That’s right that’s when you now know that they’re being deceptive, or there’s something different. And that’s really important especially with parents with teenagers that might be involved in some sort of dangerous behaviors. Is looking for those changes in their demeanor. Their affect is off. They seem to be more anxious or nervous than normal. They are isolating themselves. They’re going into other rooms and staying away from people. When you ask them direct questions they avert their eyes, and they walk away, or they turn their shoulders away. They’re different. The most important thing is to look for something that’s not their typical. In fact in the Chris Watts case the neighbor next door saw Chris Watts go in his car, back his car out. And he’s going something’s weird about this guy’s behavior. He never does that.
He’s off baseline. He’s off the baseline. So that’s what I’m talking about. Look for something that’s off the baseline. That can be in business, kids, you marriage. It doesn’t matter. It goes all the way across the line.