David Spade Used to Get Bullied a Lot (feat. Adam Devine) – Lights Out with David Spade
A bar
in St. Louis is offering patrons an all-you-can-drink for
one hour for just ten dollars. I don’t know if this sounds fun,
dangerous or other. I mean, could you imagine the conversations in that bar? -Just, “Bro, bro,
bro, bro, bro.” -(laughter) “Bro, Bro, Bro, Bro.”
Everyone’s named Chad. “Bro, Bro, Bro, Bro, Bro,
Bro, Bro.” -And all the girls, like…
-Yeah, you say, “Chad,” -35 people turn around.
-Yeah. And all the girls like…
(mutters nasally gibberish) -(laughter)
-SPADE: Exactly. That’s every… I used to go
to one in Arizona, and it was… One night, at a devil house… There was a devil house
that we called “The Butt Hut.” And, uh… not anymore. And, uh… and then, uh,
there was this other place, but they had… It was quarter beer night. And so, the worst part was,
you give ’em a dollar, and he’s like,
“Do I get to keep it?” But I go,
“I’ll take three beers, and then, uh, you can keep
the rest for yourself.” Yeah. -SHIPP: Oh, no. High roller.
-‘Cause that’s… But they also…
They did a thing where they would have it
quarter beer until someone went
to the bathroom, and then… -Oh, really? -And then, whoever
went was the biggest loser. -Yeah. -Ooh. -‘Cause everyone
would go, “You ruined it!” Yeah. And then we’d assault him
in the parking lot! -Yeah.
-SPADE: Yeah. -ASU!
-Seems like that kind of place. -Yeah, that was our college.
-Yeah? I was in a fraternity, so,
you know, we beat up people. -Yeah.
-No, I got beat up a lot, ’cause I was hazed.
-SHIPP: Yeah. -DeVINE: Were you? -Yeah, and I…
-What was that like? -Yeah. -Arizona State. -Yeah, you went
to ASU. -I can see people picking on you
with your size and hair. (laughter) I’m just a pick-on-me machine.
My God. They won’t… They were hazing me. Other
fraternities were hazing me. I’m like, “You can’t do it.” Uh…
Yes, you were saying something. They go hard in Arizona.
I’m from Phoenix, -and they… they go hard.
-SPADE: You are? Yeah, they haze in high school
and stuff, too. They’ll throw pennies
at freshmen. They took my money
every day at school… -SHIPP: Yeah. I would.
…when I was in eighth grade. And then I go, uh… All up
to eighth grade, and they go… They just walk up, and I…
They go, “Hey, man.” And I go, “No, no, here you go.
What do you want– small bills?” You never put up a fight.
Well, I got little ching-ching. Ching-ching, ching-ching. Um… I hope they bring this drinking
thing over into other places. Like, I want
an all-you-can-smoke place. That’s for sure. I’m down to put a couple
of weed places out of business. (laughter) All right, speaking of stoners–
you– um, Adidas just launched a line
of clothes and shoes exclusively for gardening, and
they say it’s “horti-couture.” -(bleep) you, idiot.
-DeVINE: Yeah. yeah. Horti-couture. And, uh, my gardener’s already
sponsored by Nike, so he can’t do it, but, uh… It’s like,
if this is streetwear, your street is a cul-de-sac. I’m not gonna let y’all
talk trash about this. This is fire to me.
I have… I, for one… I’m excited
for the Tim Allen collection. -The ultimate normcore.
-Yeah. Yeah, but I have to say that the
girl in this ad is exceptional. She is not only beautiful,
but she’s giving, like, profile side-face leaf blower? Liz, can we go wider
on this picture? -DeVINE: Hot mom.
-LIZ: No. -Oh.
-Oh. -Go (bleep) me.
-We don’t have the technology. Well, let’s picture
this pretty girl over here. -Yeah. -Uh, yeah. -I think
this is the type of ad we need. Would it be less like LeBron,
Michael Jordan. That’s not reasonable. This is
what you can actually become. -SPADE: That’s true.
-(laughter) -This is attainable.
-Yeah. This is highly attainable.
Just mow the lawn, get drunk, take a nap. -(laughter)
-SHIPP: Yeah. Like, show the kid from the… You know that kid–
Tim Chamalama-ding-dong? What’s he…? Chamalama? -Chalamet. -Yeah.
-Yeah. He was wearing this
to a premiere. So here’s… Rich people. You wear the work thing
to the nice thing. -Mm-hmm.
-And then, when you go -to garden, you dress up.
-SHIPP: Yeah. Again, this is fire.
You guys are wrong. -That’s a great outfit.
-SPADE: Yeah, I know. Like he just straight-up
walked out of 101 Dalmatians! (laughter) I can tell he’s a painter.
He’s not a good one. All right, uh, Liz,
can we go wider on this? -LIZ: No.
-Goddamn. (indistinct chatter) (bleep) low blow. -In theatres.
-Uh, all right. Miley Cyrus started dating Australian musician
Cody Simpson, and, uh,
Bieber left an Instagram comment asking if he wanted to go on a double date with him,
uh, and Hailey Baldwin. Is that them? -Oh, are they on a date there?
-SHIPP: No. Don’t blame me.
I’m not gonna ask -if we can go tighter on that.
-Oh, I thought… This looks like a picture from
the Sesame Street opioid thing. -(laughter)
-Yeah. -Born addicted. Yeah,
that’s their new characters. He got married, so if you… Doubling already.
Is it… Is it…? Yeah, it’s a sad…
It’s not going well. -SPADE: Is it really?
-I need to get out of the house. Two weeks in?
But they seem pretty stoked. They seem fun.
She always dates Australian. I think she’s trying
to burn the Australian guy. -DeVINE: Yeah, she might be.
-SHIPP: Oh. You know what?
That’s a good angle. I think
it’s actually very positive -for their relationship, though.
-SPADE: Okay. ‘Cause Justin was known
as a real party boy, a playboy. He would cheat on people,
and it’s… And that’s a lesson for anyone
in a relationship. Don’t cheat. Just get together
on a double date, go to that bar in St. Louis
where you can drink too much -(laughter)
-and… hope for the best. -(applause)
-And switch partners. That is a real lesson. Actually, uh,
he’s got these shoes on. -Can we go to that picture?
-(laughter) Look at these Hovershoes. -Are those Crocs?
-That’s the meth dealer -from The Jetsons right there.
-(laughter)
I can't imagine anyone not loving you.
I could do without the gay Urkel guy on the left.
David is the man.
How does David Spade not end up in late night All these years?! He is perfect for this job
LOUDEST outro music. why, man. why!?
Dave, EVERY pledge gets 'hazed', bro…SigEp
C’mon ASU, get Spade for next year’s commencement speech! He’d kill it!
There's no way Ron Funches isn't gay.
Someone is doing an excellent impression of "The Ladies Man"…..Is that your in? Good job.
lol
He didn't mention that is brother used to haze him, like he did on other talk shows.
Tim shamalama ding dong lmao
"This is what you can actually become." lol
gay mike tyson?
Keep this up you little squirelly fuck!
Adam Devine looks like he narrowly missed Down's Syndrome.
Does that dude in the blue T-shirt have like some new half-Down's Syndrome? WTH? He's like almost Corky but not fully… Study him!!!
She is distractingly hot AF, damn
Those Wotherspoon's are so fucking big for it's not even a joke.
LOOK CLOSELY (0:39)
1:31 David spade does his Adam Sandler impression
gee, Miley's closet has a revolving door on it. one week it's lesbians, next week it's Aussie Dongs, AGAIN. bitch is gonna end up alone with 35 cats. Good,
they won't eat her when she's dead, she's already dead inside.
Hey David Spade. Since Ellen is obviously partisan, and you have managed to maintain your sanity when it comes to these propagandistic times – David, you are my new Ellen Degeneres.
That got dark before it got really funny.
"My Gardener is already sponsored by Nike" yeah branch out 😂
That girl in this is hawt
How is this not the most popular show on the internet yet
why are Ron Funches shoes 2 sizes too big…
That girl is annoying as fuck one of the reason I will not be watching the movie
I thought shipp was british, guess not
I am shipping myself with Alexandra.
these guests weren't funny
Highly attainable 😂
Nike used Alan Titchmarsh in the States as well?
Jesus fucking christ…She is out of bounds. She is dynamite. Welcome to flavortown. She is taking me to Deliciousville.
Alexandra shipp tho.. 🧐🧐🧐😍😍😍😅🤤🤤🤤🤬🤬🤤🤤🤤🤤
He 100% channeled the sandman when he said "you can't do it"
Never enough Funches
Get a girl that looks at you the way Ron Funches looks at Spade
The gay black guy killed the vibe.
Ron 😂😂😂”This is what you can actually become” 🤣
Finches is more annoying than funny! Gtfoh
Gay black dude is nah
The lisping black guy is very annoying
Jesus christ, this black guy literally stole his shtick from the ladies man.; You can completely tell it's all stolen.
In San Marcos, TX there was a place called Animal House in the early '80s where they served all you can drink for $5. FOR THREE HOURS. They had a Breathalyzer that ran on quarters.
Comedy Central finally getting it right….
Divine ruining the black guy's joke by saying the obvious after the punchline.
She looks like she is from 90´s rap or rnb video, because of that dress. Gorgeus and nostalgic.
Who is the chic, fcking smoking
"Everyone is named chad" oh shit the most played out joke on the internet makes an appearance on a professional comedy show
It's called blasterbust.
I thought the black dude was going to offer a fish sandwich for a second
Can the brutha and sista make their voices go any higher? Somewhere dogs are covering their ears and howling!
03:25 this dude sitting on the left of DS has a weird left (foot or shoe)
The bar is called "Open Concept".
DAVIDFUCKINSPADERULEZ!!
You should involve people behind the courtain more, always funny.
Those beady little eyes freak me out
I thought that was Doja cat ..anybody else?
I can imagine the bar limiting their exposure by only allowing one regular-sized drink at a time and utilizing slow bartenders.
Funches shoes are like 3 sizes too big