10 Funniest Passive-Aggressive Notes Ever


From smoking cats to poor parking, we look
at 10 of the funniest passive-aggressive notes. 10. Butts are for throwing…in the bin
• This irate homeowner is sick of the Peter polluter that keeps ditching his cigarette
butts on her lawn. • And as anybody who’s tried to quit smoking
knows, it’s damn hard to do. It’s apparently much harder to get a cat to quit and that
cat in particular looks shady as fuck. You just know he’s going out when everyone else
is asleep to get some nicotine in his system. Catnip will only relieve the itch temporarily.
• Oh and just so you know, the propaganda is true; Cat nip is a gateway drug. The hippies
are all like “Oh it’s all natural, it comes from the earth” and then bam! Your
cat is selling your TV set to buy more kitty crack.
9. Hairy Complaint • All the ladies and some gents definitely
know what happens to all your long loose tresses in the shower.
• Apparently this pissed off housemate has had enough of unclogging drains filled with
other people’s hair. And here’s the creepy serial killer message to prove it.
• What the offender doesn’t realise is that the next message will be written in blood.
Let’s hope they don’t have a pet otherwise here’ll be a blood sacrifice the next time
someone shaves their pubes in the shower. 8. Hell Raising
• An irate driver decided the best way to get their point across was to leave this low-blow
message • For those who’ve lived under a rock,
Helen Keller was a kick ass author who was born both blind and deaf. While being blind
would definitely hinder a person driving, I can only imagine that being deaf too would
be a problem since you couldn’t hear the blood curdling screams as you mowed down pedestrians.
• I can’t imagine how bad this guy’s parking was for them to cop this brand of
passive aggression. I reckon Helen could’ve done a better job though and possibly come
up with a better one liner. Though it would’ve been written in brail.
7. Copier Conversation • So this note is straight up odd. Apparently
the bosses felt it was necessary to tell their workers not to talk to or about the copy machine.
• Apparently the first rule of copier club is, you do not talk about copier club. The
second rule is, who the fuck cares? Was the copier feeling harassed?
• Were the staff members telling him what a shitty piece of machinery he was? Because
with a copier, you gotta be able to take that shit. Whatever happened to just using the
copier at the Christmas party to check copy pictures of your junk? Maybe that’s why
nobody is allowed to talk to the machine, someone went too far. “Damnit Tony, why’d
you have to copy your scrote so many times? There’s pubes all over the copy room. You
heartless monster.” 6. Graffiti
• Some people have names that just have to be fucked with.
• And Dr. Hedgeh is one of them. And if you have nothing better to do at work why
wouldn’t you mess with him? • He should be grateful people aren’t
writing “Sonic the Dr Hedgehog” on his door. “Oh didn’t you hear Tina, that fast
movin’ motherfucker got himself through med school since he got off crystal meth.
Good for you Sonic, good for you. 5. Spit and Swallow
• Not all goes to plan when the avenger becomes the avenged in this tale of woe.
• Nothing’s worse than someone else eating your food; except of course someone else finding
out you’ve eaten theirs. But in this case the owner of the food tries to strike back
by spitting in his own food. • Your own saliva is pretty inoffensive;
you have it in your mouth all day every day. But someone else’s saliva is enough to turn
a delightful salad into a murderous rampage. But no, apparently the owner of the salad
dressing is the jerk. Nobody said we had to share Sharon! This isn’t communist Russia,
Sharon! But don’t worry, you can have the fucking dressing.
4. Big Jobs • While everyone is all worked up over environmentalism
and global warming, let’s take a second to appreciate this guy’s response.
• Everyone’s concerned about their paper trail but we all know the real agenda for
limiting printing; budget cuts. Especially when that pesky copy machine is suing you
for harassment, the cost of doing business is forever climbing.
• His reply is one great big middle finger to his boss, “Not only will I do what I
want, you’ll have to be more specific next time fucker. Muahahaha!”
3.Poor Parking • Leaving a note on someone’s windshield
is one thing, but to have business cards made up, is 100% class.
• But the class factor drops significantly when you’re comparing someone to a hurricane,
no matter how sexy your font choice is. • Whoever made these prays to God each day
he’ll find some shitty parking just so he can use one of the millions of pissy cards
he has in his glovebox. Whoever gets one of these is gonna need some serious ointment
for that savage burn you just laid on ‘em. 2. We Jammin’
• This guy’s Bob Marley reference is pretty apt.
• As we’ve highlighted in today’s video, office environments are full of endless frustrations
that make you want to stab Tony in the face with ballpoint but sometimes you just gotta
complain about the copier instead. • And also, how many dickish copiers are
gonna be on this list? And the amount of notes about is a signals how many people passive
aggressive mofos there are in every office since the oppressive fluorescent lights are
driving them slightly madder every damn day. “Damnit Sharon, stay out of my mini-fridge!
I wouldn’t need one if you weren’t such a bitch.”
1. A Note to all the note leavers • This smarty pants was apparently attempting
to stop other people’s passive aggressive notes.
• I wonder if this guy realizes the irony of leaving a passive aggressive note about
all the other people leaving passive aggressive notes. It’s note-ception! And by the way
this is real irony, not the type Alanis Morrissett was singing about. Damnit Alanis, rain on
your wedding day isn’t ironic, it’s just a bit shit. Get it together woman, and buy
a damn dictionary. • This guy expecting his note to change
anything is a bit like fucking for virginity; lots of fun, but it’s gonna blow up in your
face. Speaking of writing notes in class: What’s
the worst thing you’ve ever been caught doing at school? Let us know in the reddit
page linked below and you might be featured in a future countdown.